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Advice
#108296:
Living with my folks at 30, no big deal, right? But lately, it's been getting a bit tricky with my mom. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate everything she does, but she's been diving into my personal space like a detective on a case.
I mean, who I'm texting, where I'm going, who I'm hanging out with - it's all under her radar. The weirdest part? She's started texting my friends, asking about my whereabouts. Honestly, it's embarrassing. Feels like she's morphed into an obsessed girlfriend rather than a mom.
I get it, she cares, but I need some space, you know? It's time to rein it in a bit, move from the detective mode to more of a mother-son vibe. Love her to bits, but a bit of breathing room wouldn't hurt.
How? Any solution how to tell her off? It's getting into my nerves.
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#107650:
If a boy like the one in #107611 ever approached my daughter in that way, I might actually give him more consideration.
Am a long-term working Mum with a daughter in NUS.
She has faced her fair share of dating and it has been quite a disaster. Either the boy had differences or that she faced bouts of being cheated on.
Most of her boyfriends were found either in school or on a dating app. Just because those boys went via the so-called "acceptable" means to find a date, doesn't guarantee my approval nor did they treat my daughter properly.
As much as I don't know enough on this specific boy, I have never seen anyone in ages writing sincere. wholesome notes to others. It is such a nostalgic throwback to my time of dating. Everything being much simpler, face-to-face and genuine.
I may still feel sceptical on behalf of my daughter given he is still a total stranger. However, I would still support my daughter to consider him a try.
At least my daughter would have already seen and vibed the boy in real life. Not like on those silly dating apps where whatever you see on a "profile" is not necessarily what you get in real life.
A mother's instinct is unlikely to go wrong. I can at least sit right that he's more likely to treat my daughter better than what she has already faced.
PS: Unless you have a daughter, stop using the "imagine xxx hit on your daughter" to put others down. You are not a parent yourself. Don't speak on behalf of actual parents.
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#98445:
I have a dilemma that I need to solve ...
I broke off with my 5years long term relationship ex half a year ago as he was being mentally abusive to me, example if something doesn't goes his way he would shout at me although in his context he was just raising his voice. The relationship became very toxic and I decided to walk away from it as it was either break up or marriage if I were to continue staying on in this relationship.
4months after the breakup he had zero contact with me leaving me very much heartbroken as I was still very much in love with him. I tried moving on by going on dates and meeting friends constantly keeping my mind occupied but My parents being kpo and not yet over the fact we broken up as i never told them the bad things he does to me and thinking we are making a mistake decided to invite him over for a family gathering one day. Surprised that he agreed to come it was the first time in 2 months since we last spoken, we had a serious conversation and found out that both of us was not over but both was too scar to take a step forward to do anything.... emotions came pouring out both of us feeling vulnerable and alcohol to blame we spent the night together.
But after that night I realised we can never be together as old scars will never heal and it would be a mistake a try again. A month later my friend decided to tell me about his feeling for me. He had been there for me since the last year of my relationship with my ex and In a way he was a shoulder I could cry on and always lent his ear for me to rant since whenever I want to complain about things to my ex or was upset he would tell me Im overreacting and just playing the pity card ????, still being with my ex I didn't think anything much of his action aside from him being a good friend. After thinking about it for awhile I decided to give it a go and just try out this relationship..
Overtime I grew to really loving him and loving the way he treats me although he doesn't have much compared to my ex but atleast he treats me well... when everything seems to be going well I was hit with a news that u was pregnant. And it was definitely my ex as I have yet to done it with him. I told him about it and instead of being mad or asking me to abort it he hugged me and told me everything is going to be alright and if I ever decide to keep it he will raise it with me like his own If I want to abort he will be with me throughout the whole process.
He asked whether do I want to tell my ex about it and what do I want to do.. part of me find that it's only right to tell him about this child yet a part of me thinks I shouldn't as I have no intention of raising it with him if I were to ever keep it, after all a child wouldn't just magically solve our problems.
At the end of the day I decided to keep it with my boyfriend and to never let the child know about his real father but my plans got ruin when my ex found out about the kid and insist on marrying me and raising the child together saying it's his birth rights to do so as he is the biological father and that things might change now he will change for me and the baby .. he wants to file a lawsuit if we don't agree and will do whatever legal means to gain rights over me and the child.
Am I doing the right thing for my child? Should the child really grow up with the biological parents ? Should I give him another chance for the sake of the child..... even if it means gambling my happiness away. Saying my boyfriend can never give the child everything that he can as he is a lawyer with a high paying income and my boyfriend just earning an average income. The child will be better off being able to choose to go to any school he wants and go and expensive vacations having all the toys he desire in the world and not being held back just because mummy and daddy can't afford... with all this drama going on I'm slowly sinking into depression and thinking maybe I should just get rid of the problem... if the child is gone..all this problems will be gone....
What should I do? I really hate myself for thinking like that.....
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No Category
Rant
#91392:
You don't see things like Guys in Nursing, Male in Maid, Female in Army, yet we keep seeing Female in Tech marketing gimmicks and programs exclusively for females. Everyone will lose their mind if they see a Male in Tech Hackathon and outright call it sexist, yet Female in Tech Hackathon is socially acceptable. Everytime I see another Female in Tech program, I just scoffed.
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No Category
Rant
#91336:
People should take responsibility for their decisions regardless of their "success" in life.
My younger sister is in medical school. She chose to study medicine. Nobody forced her. Period. But it feels like the whole family is paying for her decision.
She is too busy to do housework.
Let's follow her schedule.
She practically only has time for her studies. All she had to do was use study as an excuse. Hello miss! I have seen you watch YouTube videos when you could have been helping mum in the kitchen. Watching YouTube videos means you free right? Don't tell me you want a break. First you got to pick your dream and now you get to pcik your break?! Life so good one huh. What about my time. I spend my free time on your portion of responsibilities because you were too "busy" . Can I pick my free time too?!
Look. I understand medicine is hard. That's why it's meant for really smart people right? Because these people can do more than just studying.
I'm happy for her but it's very irresponsible of her that we all have to pay for her deicison.
If she wants to study medicine, shouldn't she MAKE SURE she can and WILLING TO juggle her studies on top of other commitments? Life where got so easy one? Huh so good life ah. All you had to do is focus on your dreams. It seems to me she just wants what she wants. Anything else she just push to others.
Let me tell you. Fighting for your dreams, no matter how hard it is, is bliss. I think my younger sister had it preety good. Sure medicine is hard but that's her goal. At least she didn't have to pay for someone else's deicison.
Sigh. If I don't help, my mum will do everything herself. This got me thinking. Parents are hypocrites. They always love the most "successful" child the most. The one who helps them the most get overlooked because they take kids like these for granted. It is my job to help?! So it is not my sister's job too? Note that I used the word successful and not smart. My younger sister is definitely not the smartest. My elder sister is much smarter but she is not a doctor.
With tuition and all, I don't think doctors nowadays are the smartest people around. There are a few underdogs but most of them are just lucky enough to have financially stable families. My younger sister is an example. She is bad at math, physics and humanities. She is only good at bio. My elder sister learns music and she is way smarter. Music difficulty is super underrated. Its a really hard subject.
Parents should seriously wake up their idea. If my kid is studying medicine, I would make sure he at least wash the dishes on weekends. He jolly well remembers who made his dreams possible. You became a doctor not because you smart but because your family let it happen. There are so many smart people with family commitments that couldn't persue their dreams.
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